Gossip

The Imperial HoloNet · Sith Acolyte Joined: 05 Dec 2008 Posts: 21

Articles transmitted by Weylyn Ansini shall be published here.

The Imperial HoloNet · Sith Acolyte Joined: 05 Dec 2008 Posts: 21

Top Sith Official Caught Wearing Woman’s Clothing

KUAT CITY (HoloNet) – A high-ranking official in His Majesty’s government was spotted today in the Grand Corridor of the Sith Temple wearing lady’s clothes. This official, confirmed by onlookers as none other than one of the Emperor’s most trusted advisors, is said to have made a habit of appearing in public in woman’s garb.

One source inside the government, speaking to the HoloNet on the condition of anonymity, says “It happens more than you’d think. I wouldn’t be surprised if there aren’t more running around out there.”

Clayas Brothers, one of the galaxy’s finest garment shops located in central Kuat City, reports having sold this ranking official over 200,000 credits worth of clothes and accessories in the last year.

During the Annual Conference of Alien Contributors (ACAC) last month, the Bothan delegation pointed out that their keynote speaker, the aforementioned figure now so often spotted wearing the finest women’s department fashions from Clayas Brothers, seemed to enjoy “sticking out like an AT-AT on Hoth.”

True, several onlookers observed. Traviss Sinklar, vacationing on Kuat from the Spice Mines of Kessel, notes “it’s unusual to see such a thing back home. Our politicians would never be found in silk dresses!”

The Emperor’s Office declined to comment on the situation, but the Empire’s Grand Vizier, Darth Praxeum, addressing reporters at his weekly briefing, noted “It is the policy of the Emperor not to interfere with the personal expressions of his administrators. Whether or not any official in His Majesty’s government chooses to parade around in lady’s clothing is really none of our business.”

Grand Moff Tarna, the Empire’s longest serving Grand Moff and current Shadow Protector, has issued a statement saying “It is not for me to say what is or is not appropriate attire for my fellow public servants. Our different cultures have different definitions of what is and is not acceptable. Some people are bound to find the practices of this official odd.”

The Trade Minister of Thyferra, Jos Finnigan, had this to say following his meeting with the official in question: “I really don’t see what all the big fuss is about. I have never dealt with a more sincere official in this government.” High praise coming from the man who just last year called the Grand Inquisitor’s demeanor “So cold that Mustafar would freeze over.”

Inquiries to Lady Ducki’s suite have gone unanswered. Apparently she has nothing to say to contribute other than her continued patronage of Clayas Brothers. Next week, she is scheduled to attend an emergency session of the United Miner’s Guild and a benefit dinner. The odds are high that she shall continue her fashion trend.

The Imperial HoloNet · Sith Acolyte Joined: 05 Dec 2008 Posts: 21

Grand Inquisitor Prognie Holds Moff’s Council Hostage

KUAT CITY (HoloNet) – According to several sources, who have asked to remain anonymous for their personal safety, in the closed-door session of last night’s emergency meeting of the Moff’s Council, Grand Inquisitor Prognie returned from his Ewok hunting vacation on the Forest Moon of Endor to “hold the council hostage.”

One voice, speaking from a disposable comlink in the Red City district of Kuat, said “He was mad, I tell you, mad!” According to the other sources, Darth Prognie threw an Ewok’s head onto the Speaker’s Podium and “demanded action.”

“The economy and production of new materials in the Empire is collapsing and you sit here, pushing flimsi,” Prognie screamed, a bizarre site to be sure. The Miraluka, “a powerful opponent of all things rational,” says political rival Darth Aequitas, “finally flew his Star Destroyer into the Death Star.”

Emperor Shadow, present in his balcony during the proceedings, remained uncharacteristically quiet. Several Moffs who spoke with the Emperor after the night’s safe conclusion determined, “he was put out with all of it and killing him would just be too public.”

Speaking for over twelve hours, the Grand Inquisitor failed to notice a security glitch that enabled several Moffs to sneak out and alert guards. It is a bizarre twist for one of the Sith’s most powerful, but obviously proves he had no real intention of causing bodily harm.

“I tried to keep the hostage situation civil,” Darth Prognie says, “I didn’t want anyone to be hurt more than they had to. I think I bashed some egos and some balls.”

Prognie did indeed crush some balls. The head nodes on the top of one Twi’lek’s were “flattened by his fist during a passionate speech where the Moff got too close to the Grand Inquisitor” a source revealed.

Emergency rations and medical attention were rushed into the chamber when Darth Prognie concluded with a passionate plea to “commence work on what makes this Empire great.”

At a press conference called after the incident, Grand Moff Tarna states, “It would be nice to move past this small hiccup in the legislative agenda and to remember that the council operates in strict adherence to laws and bylaws which…” Shortly thereafter, the Grand Inquisitor chucked an Ewok’s head at him.

Rumors abound that the Emperor is considering exiling the wildly unpopular but strangely iconic and popular Grand Inquisitor to the ice planet of Hoth for a “time out.” The Emperor’s Office failed to return inquiries into the matter.

Grand Inquisitor Prognie returned to work today, eager to “put the past behind us and get the ball rolling.” Tell it to the Twi’lek.

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