Darth Thrax
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Comments for Arion Sa'byrs StoryLeave your comments.
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Lord Legacy
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hey manits a good story but you need details like do it like your making an autobiography this is your sith character build him up so we know what you are about
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Darth Thrax
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yeah
I was thinking of making a new one with more detail so whenever I have time I will make a new one
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Sith Alchemist Kor
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It needs to be longer. Make your chapters longer so we get more info on your character.
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Lord Legacy
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yeahmake like the story in sections like have 3 chapters on your early life before you became a Jedi and how you came to learn about your powers and then like the next section would be your life as a Jedi the problems you faced and how you fled after you killed your master and then the last would be about how you became a Sith and wahts happened to you since then
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Brigadier General Matas
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Way way way way too short. It seems simply like a small bio you would make on an application rather than a story. Plus a question, is he a Zabrak from Iridonia? If you are, then I suggest studying up on the Zabrak so you can get it accuratly of their personality, biology of the kind of things they would do.
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Xander Vos
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Yeah, way as heck to short. Detail man, detail.
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Darth Thrax
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Whenever I have time, I am going to redo it.
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