The Training of Maven

Supreme Commander Alor

[[I believe it was decided that I would train Maven if he came back. If I am mistaken, feel free to correct me on the matter.]]

The Supreme Commander of the Sith Imperial Armed Forces had once again taken upon the mantle of Master to a lowly Sith Adept, now Apprentice. This was the, fifth, no wait seventh apprentice that he had taken under his wing to guide them in the way of the Dark Side of the Force. Some had been strong enough to survive, others had not.

He stood impatiently outside of the Yavvitiri Spaceport, on Yaga Minor. When the pairing had been approved, Lord Marix had been away in the MAZ on Military Duties. After a week had passed, and his workload had not relented, he arranged for his new apprentice to take public transportation out to the system. No fancy Military craft for his apprentice, he didn't want him to think he was better than others because of his Master's position.

Darth Marix checked his data-pad and noted that the transport had arrived ten minutes ago. What in the world could be keeping his apprentice...
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Once known as Darth Marix

Maven · Sith Apprentice Joined: 28 Nov 2008 Posts: 128

Maven arrived at Yaga Minor on the transport that his new master provided him with. Maven did not know where he was going until he was met by two guards. "Halt", the guards said, "who are you?" "I am Maven, apprentice to Supreme Commander Marix, can you take me to him?" "Yes we can", the guards said. The guards led Maven to a door, "he is in here". "Thank you", Maven told the guards. Maven opened the door and seen a dark figure looking out of the window. Maven walked up to the figure and knelt toward his new master. "Sorry im late milord". Maven looked at his master waiting for his answer.

Supreme Commander Alor

[[Punctuation, capitalization, and grammar please. You completely left out quotation marks around the speech. ("Person says something in here"). Please correct your post for proper grammar, punctuation, and capitalization.]]
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Once known as Darth Marix

Supreme Commander Alor

[[Much better. But when you change speaker, you create a new line. So when the guards start speaking, you start a new line (hit enter when typing).

As for the initiative, I must commend you. But the guards might not have known I was even at the spaceport. Perhaps this Sith Lord likes to do without the fanfare.]]

"In time you will learn to be punctual, but you seem to have the respectful part down." Lord Marix replied. "Avert your eyes. If you stare, someone might think you are plotting against them, and take action."

Pivoting on his left foot, he swung to face his apprentice.

"You may rise. Now follow me, and try not to get lost. This entire sector is under Martial Law, and you will not be treated as if you were on Kuat if you are found in areas where you do not belong."

Darth Marix headed off to his personal speeder, entered the drivers side, and started the engines.
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Once known as Darth Marix

Maven · Sith Apprentice Joined: 28 Nov 2008 Posts: 128

Maven rose just as his master orderd him to do and maven walked behind his new master walking down a long and dark hallway. Finally Mavens master entered into his personal speeder.

Follow me my young apprentice Supreme Commander Marix orderd and dont get lost. Maven hoped on the other speeder beside his master and just like that they vanish down a dark long path. Maven was eager and nervous at the same time.

Supreme Commander Alor

[[You quoted me wrong. If you are going to quote someone, you might as well just copy and paste what they said.

As for the dark long path, I met you in broad daylight. I'm a Sith Lord and would hardly be losing sleep over collecting an apprentice. Not everything to do with Sith architecture is dark and forboding, so you don't need every hallway to be dark, long, shadowy and scary. Use that where it makes sense, but try to keep the rest realistic. The Yavvitiri Spaceport is a public complex, so it is designed by its native species, and doesn't always pertain to Sith "evilness".]]

The speeder headed off in the direction of the Military Annexation Zone Headquarters, where the Supreme Commander was currently residing. Ever since the Mage's skirmish with a rebel force, the Supreme Commander could only be found here. He had visited the Grand Mage and Dark Warrior once each, to gather information, but after that had gone straight to the MAZ.

Arriving at the large complex, the Sith Lord stopped at the security outpost.
"You will now be scanned and checked." He told his apprentice.
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Once known as Darth Marix

Maven · Sith Apprentice Joined: 28 Nov 2008 Posts: 128

Maven looked at his master and shook his head respondin by saying, Yes master. While Maven was being scanned he was looking at his master just thinking would he ever be as powerful as his master who he be anything like him.

Come my apprentice Supreme Commander Marix told Maven. The scanning is done lets go. Yes master maven responded

Supreme Commander Alor